This was written by Bronnie Ware (www.bronnieware.com), a palliative care worker who has worked with a countless number of patients who are sadly seeing their last days on earth. When Bronnie had questioned the patients about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all.  When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.  It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way.  From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2.  I wish I didn’t work so hard – This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.  Women also spoke of this regret.  But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.  By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3.  I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.  As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.  We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4.  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.  It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier - This is a surprisingly common one.  Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.  The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.  Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content.  When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.  When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind.  How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.  Life is a choice.  It is YOUR life.  Choose consciously, choose wisely, and choose honestly.  Choose happiness.

Some people have no interest in how much their property has appreciated in value since they bought it. Others however like to keep tabs on their net worth as it fluctuates from year to year. If you received your new 2011 Capital Valuation recently and you’re still confused about how much your property is really worth, I believe I can help you.

The traditional way to estimate a property’s value is via a registered valuer. A reliable and widely accepted option, a valuation can cost between $500 and $1500 depending on the size and style of your property. Another reliable but less widely accepted option, which has only recently emerged as a genuine alternative, is to seek a market appraisal from a real estate licensee (agent/salesperson).

In theory, an agent’s appraisal might now be a better way to estimate a property’s value. This is because new REAA regulations require agents to provide comprehensive property appraisals before they can list a property for sale. A positive spin-off of this has been an improvement in most agent’s local market knowledge and appraisal skills. Now that agents are held to account for their appraisals it’s in their best interest (and yours) to more carefully prepare every appraisal they do.

Gone are the days when agents could “buy” listings by giving an owner false hope of an unrealistically high price. Today if an agent hasn’t physically inspected enough locally sold homes, logic dictates that their ability to accurately appraise might be impaired.

Today the key to obtaining an accurate appraisal is to seek out the one agent who has better market knowledge than any other in your area. That agent will be the one that has inspected, marketed, opened, appraised and successfully sold more homes in your area than any other agent. Be sure to check their appraisal price versus sale price record too. That’s very important.

The most comprehensive market survey ever conducted for my area of specialty (Remuera South) will soon be released. It’s packed full of property data that is relevant to all homeowners. Never before has something like it been available to you. To receive your complimentary copy of this valuable resource simply email me or text your email and postal address to 021 864 166.

PS – If you’re keen to clarify any confusion about your home’s value caused by your new CV, take advantage of new legislation and contact me to appraise your home. You’ll receive an assessment from Remuera’s most accurate appraiser, plus my Remuera South market survey. You can check up on my accuracy & recent appraisal prices versus sale prices at http://www.stevekoerber.co.nz/images/steve_koerber's_appraisal_record.pdf . Thank you.

Have you ever said “hello” to someone you see daily or weekly but never taken the time to really get to know the person behind the smile?  I was guilty of such a crime until one day in 2008 when I crossed paths with “Millie” from Maxwell’s Drycleaners at the top of Victoria Ave.  It was early one Autumn morning before most shops were open and, as she always does, Millie was sweeping leaves and debris from the footpath outside her store.  I was intrigued by how worn down her broom was so I politely asked “why are you using such a worn out broom Millie?”  to which she replied “I’ve been using this broom outside this store for 21 years now and it still does the job”.  I’d known Millie for 9 years then but it seemed a drop in the ocean compared to her long period of dedicated service firstly to NZ Drycleaners (18 years) and Maxwells (now 6 years).  I quietly pondered how many other people in the Remuera village could boast such an impressive number of years service to one business.  I decided that Millie deserved a new broom so I bought one from the hardware store and presented it to her in a small ceremony.  She accepted the new broom gracefully, but to this day I’m not sure whether she uses it in preference to her old-faithful.  In talking further to Millie I discovered that there was a lot more to her life story.

In 1964 she was the fastest female marathon runner in the world with a time of 3hrs 19mins 33secs.  I was mesmerised as she described how she travelled to England, Spain, Belgium and Scotland throughout the 1960’s to compete in the world cross country championships.  I asked her if she ever went to the Olympics or Commonwealth Games but sadly women’s long distance running wasn’t accepted as an official sport until after she had retired.  Even her record marathon in 1964 was recorded as part of an official men’s race.  Millie finished competing in 1973 but by that time had been crowned Auckland women’s cross country champion from 1963 to 1965, then official NZ champion in 1966, 1968 and 1972.  In between running and travelling the world Millie Sampson was also a member of the Auckland women’s basketball team for 10 years during the 1960’s.  Next time you’re passing the drycleaners in Remuera spare a moment to smile and wave to a dedicated shop assistant who also happens to be a living legend.

Milestones in the progress of the world’s best marathon times

Men

2h 05min 38s Khalid Khannouchi, US, 2002

2h 09min 36s Derek Clayton, Australia, 1967

2h 12min 11s Abebe Bikila, Ethiopia, 1964

2h 25min 39s Yun Bok Suh, Korea, 1947

2h 38min 16s Harry Green, GB, 1913

2h 46min 52s James Clark, US, 1909

2h 55min 18s John Hayes, US, 1904

Women

2h 15min 25s Paula Radcliffe, GB, 2003

2h 19min 46s Naoko Takahashi, Japan, 2001

2h 25min 28s Grete Waitz, Norway, 1983

2h 34min 47s Christa Vahlensieck, Germany, 1977

2h 49min 40s Cheryl Bridges, US, 1971

2h 55min 22s Elizabeth Bonner, US, 1971

3h 19min 33s Millie Sampson, NZ, 1964

3h 40min 22s Violet Piercy, GB, 1926

Many New Zealanders seem to be intimidated by the auction process and it’s easy to understand why.  Auctions are very exciting events.  I’ve been in real estate for 14 years and I still get that surge of adrenaline when I orchestrate a good auction.

But if you avoid auctions because you’re uncomfortable with the process you’re going to miss a lot of good buying opportunities.  It’s usually the best properties that are offered for sale via auction, particularly in Auckland where